I love my ex boyfriend reddit

I offered my ex to go to therapy numerous times and expressed deep concern in his behaviour. My boyfriend of 2 years left me completely heartbroken because his first girlfriend came back into the picture. We lived together for a little over 3 years, and were both kind of stuck in a rut. Picture your ex. You haven't even made it a year. now please don’t come at me. We had some rocky parts in our relationship but I left him mainly because I thought I had lost interest. I didnt even like kissing him, him tiuching me. If the answer is yes, he is not the one. I feel guilty for feeling like this because I know my boyfriend would be devastated, but no matter how hard I try I just can’t forget him. he is one of a kind and has a heart of gold. Sex with my current boyfriend is great, however there are sometimes that I’m just not feeling it or I just don’t want it for long periods of time. But were talking for 6 months. If your ex moved on fast, it isn't personal. HELP! My boyfriend is still obsessed with his ex. " ADMIN MOD. I love my boyfriend, I miss my ex and I hate myself. 32. When I tell y’all I love this woman with all of my heart! He’s making me choose and gave me an ultimatum. I’ve loved her for a long time and she’s always been like family to me. however, lately i get the feeling It’s not that you love him it’s because your remembering the negative parts of that past relationship it’s like trauma bond your were sorta used to that sort of treatment from your ex and your present bf treats you way differently. Leave. There were solid reasons that we broke up. r/BPDlovedones. Everybody has issues that they run into, and… In may, I met my current bf on Hinge, and we hit it off amazingly well. In that once he knows that your watchful guard is completely down, he doesn't start cheating again. 948K subscribers in the Advice community. We both didn't speak for a long while and I eventually met a wonderful woman and got married but I still seem to be thinking about my ex a I hope love blinds you hard enough that you won't have to question whether or not he's cheating behind your back again. Also, as many people have stated, communication is the best option in this situation - you need him to understand how you feel in all of this (this was my biggest mistake, since i didn’t communicate at all what I was feeling. I feel like I cannot compare myself to her in any way. You are obviously very insecure, you need to work on that. There are a couple of ex’s I think of very fondly even though it’s certainly not love. Sorry this is a bit long. Trust your own value, to your boyfriend and to yourself. If he is, then everything else must be shut out. I still feel like I love my abusive ex-boyfriend. This is a “you” issue for sure. Recently, I spent the week at my boyfriend’s apartment and, while we do have a lot of sex, for the first time he turned down one of my advances and I hit the panic button. You clearly still have feelings for your ex-boyfriend. I (22f) love my new boyfriend (23m) and we have been dating for about 4 months. Me (19f) and my ex (23m) broke up two weeks ago. (She also cheated on I really regret leaving my ex boyfriend. I’m in love with my ex boyfriend bestfriend. Mean_Environment4856. Good Especially during a breakup. It was a toxic kind of love because it was too overpowering. Life happened and I decided to break up with him. My boyfriend currently, I know I don't love him the same way as I did my ex, because my first love was the kind of love that would have killed or destroyed me. Award. It's so devastating to see the love of your life already My boyfriend (25) of a month received a long text from his ex last week. I have been friend with one of my exes for 15 years. Stay with the one that doesn't compromise everything. The only one hanging onto hope was me. I love her. He hadn't ever lost anyone so he had no idea what I was going through. I still laugh at our inside jokes, daydream off into our vacations, dream about him all of the time, try NOT to think about him I got married over 2 years ago and I'm still in love with my ex. We split up in 2013 because it just wasn't working out, we were both young and stubborn. We’ve been split for 8 years, 6 of them spent with my husband. He’s an amazing person and I do love him. Keep all the exes texts but don't open them. My advice is ask him if he is serious about a future with you. We love people, then sometimes that love fades. I need help. I personally wouldn't be able to live and share my life with a cheater who betrayed me, even if they prostrate themselves. I heard this loud pounding on my door and he asked if she was there and I said she wasn’t and he said he knew she was there. Girl’s ex boyfriend showed up to my house while we’re making out. It meant a lot to me that he could share his past with me, and I always try to be someone that he can talk to about anything. I think it’s all the process of healing. Over the 2 and a half years we dated, we broke My boyfriend is still in love with his ex. I don’t know how to start this but l’ll start by introducing myself, I am 22 this year and I’ve been great friends with one of my ex-senior…. The break-up was amicable. 5 months in I sent that letter, it was to just thank him for everything that happened and the fact that he came into my life. I am posting this as I have seen a lot of situations like mine recently on this app so I thought I’d share. Well, it is in the past. And in that moment, I hope you realize how silly you’re being right now. He would respect my wishes in regards to having an open relationship. This morning, my brother answered the door and my boyfriend came in with coffee and a doughnut, a pair My best friend (18F) and her ex bf (18M) we’re dating for almost two years and they went on a break as she called it because she had another female love interest that she wanted to explore with. I, obviously, completely trashed the idea of getting back with my “ex” in the future. I cried my eyes out because damn. a lot. The rule I've used is one week per month of dating. I thought it was just a crush and it will faded away eventually. They started dating shortly after they met; we were all still in high school. If you date for 18 months, that's 18 months of doing lots of things together. He didn’t reply after but it felt like that chapter came to a close. Even if the relationship had been dying for a while and you were truly done with them by When I saw their relationship status, I felt my heart drop. You can't control what they do and you can't change it. Martha comes out to be nosey and see what’s going on. She was getting tired of their relationship and how much they were arguing and she wanted something different. Leading this other guy on, despite your feelings, is the wrong thing to do. I checked to see how she's been doing last night, stalked her Instagram account, and guess what I found, she already has a highlight made for her new boyfriend. This subreddit is an abuse support forum. Now, 3 months later, I’m really missing him and With my boyfriend now he loves my cooking, he loves the side my ex hated about me, he never tells me I’m ugly for wearing heels and I don’t have to endure hard sex where I would end up with bruises and wounds yet when I told my ex I didn’t like it he just laughed and was happy he managed to leave bruises on me. We broke up for about 4 months now. I can't sleep because I have too much on my mind tonight, so maybe posting here will help. I just really love my boyfriend. Just venting. We had a relztionship of 6 years but i never loved him. He’s probably a better fit for me than my ex boyfriend, but I don’t think I’m in love with him. I’m dating someone new but still think about my ex. I truly believed I was over her until this fucking dream happened. Dreaming of your ex is the deepest, most emotionally painful thing to happen. He's been my best friend since the very day we met. Apologies in advance if this doesn’t really fit here but I had to share somewhere. Go ahead. He’s great, and he meets all of my needs. I hope your boyfriend writes you love letters. But deep down, his desire to have an open relationship will always be a thread hanging loose, at least that's how I feel. Nothing inappropriate happened at all, but I hate the guilt of keeping it from him. I genuinely care about him still, even after he broke up with me, and wish he seeks help. We have been together from highschool up to the first few years in university. It help me accept the fact that from here on out it’s my life now. And when you two go your separate ways, I hope you choose to keep them. Reply. I loved my ex boyfriend more than I love my husband. I've (23f) been with my boyfriend, Sam (24m) for nearly three years. The past 3 years we would secretly see each other at least once a year. You can control what you do, however. Pack their shit up from your house, bag it up nicely and return it to them in a polite and respectful manner (I suggest getting your stuff back at this point too). Because I’m finding it hard to let go of anybody. It’s not a bad thing. Obviously for most of it, I was happy. But somewhere along the way, I curated an obsession with his ex (20F). I feel stupid but my ex was the only girl I've liked since I was 16. She followed me on socials but at one point During the break I had started to get close to my coworker. He was long gone. We were so close for years and she’s such an amazing and beautiful person despite what she did to me (which I don’t blame her for btw there was definitely some shady manipulation on my ex’s part). A little background, I (20f) have been with my boyfriend (21m) for almost a year. They broke up three years ago; let's call them James and Anna. You should probably also consider a restraining order. I am his first girlfriend. " However, my boyfriend declined without giving a reason. blanketfo. I spent months wishing and crying. 1. It feels like I will always love him. They lived together at his house and he felt trapped. Don't wait for them, you've given them more time than is wise already. Fast forward to the present, though, and something’s made me think about him again. People throw that stuff away when they get engaged. You described your relationship as "regular". I fell in love with him the moment i saw him but i was with my boyfriend that time and he was dating someone else. Their relationship was mostly fine but she couldn't support him in the way he needed (emotionally) and usually brushed everything off. Even though my ex-boyfriend and I broke up last year, I still find myself unable to move on. Prior, he was in a two year long relationship. He’s a great guy, treats me amazing, and is very caring. It takes time to normalize those feelings and get over them. Edit 2: Just a few things I've read a few times; I offered my boyfriend to come along. Someday you won't hate your ex anymore. This is my first post here, and I’m not sure if it’s allowed or the right spot. And I hope that they’re special to you. i told him i can’t get back together with him because i’m dealing with a lot of family Hopeful-Ad9929. I didnt like his friends, the choices he lade in his acafemic career. The point of a romantic relationship is to be loved and to give love and be in love together. I (18F) have been with my boyfriend (21M) for 2 years now. To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. We just recently broke up because I am questioning if I am lesbian but we keep getting back together. Second if you love both of them but chasing one of them has a good chance of loosing both of them, then don't chase that one. •. I would just call your sister and tell her how you feel. Initially the letter was to get him back so I waited. I love my boyfriend!!!! My boyfriend lives in the same general area, but it's about an hour away from where I live. Me (F):23, Him:26 - together ~8months. I broke up with him because, despite nothing being wrong, I didn’t see the relationship working out long-term and felt guilty as if I was leading him on. guys don’t like this in a woman/girl. Help please. Reply reply. I cannot shut off my memories, but I don’t think about her, as much as I think about how I felt or what I was doing. I broke up with my ex because the relationship was toxic (from both ends) over a year and a half ago. Last night I fell asleep on the phone with him, and I kept telling him how much I wanted to see him before he left for a trip. This sounds horrible, but don’t judge me. He was my lover, confidant, and best friend. They broke up about 5 years ago and my now ex-boyfriend tried to date others, but supposedly could not let her go until he met me. I was you. I miss my ex-boyfriend. I still love him, I always will, we were just forced apart by circumstance. I have to admit, it was the dumbest thing I could have done, but I was so angry with myself. I miss my ex boyfriend so much. He knows that she isn’t good for him, that she isn’t someone he should date, and that she’s terrible for him but he can’t help how he feels. A lot of things have happened in the past five years that have put me into therapy,[as much as that sucks to tell people] so to be fair, it's not just my ex boyfriend pissing me off- it's reliving the other things that incite that feeling, although it's often labeled as something else, IE, fear or sadness. Being the silly girl that I was, I took him back. We promised to have more open communication about everything. Even people who have been married for years are still in love with each other. I feel upset about my boyfriend being friends with his ex girlfriend. Andy told me that he didn’t find May attractive anymore and he only was with her because he pitied her. Charlie490. I love my boyfriend, but I have a crush on someone else. Don't try to understand why they are who they are, or why they do what they do. We broke up on 2nd April, but still we continued to have on- off contact until April 24 when things got bad and we blocked each other. I thought he was dumb. People get rid of that stuff immediately after a breakup because of the pain. I (28M) happily married but really miss my ex. I was very resistant to moving on. I became the creepy ex-boyfriend and had no idea. This is a place where you can ask for advice on many subjects. I was laying in bed with my boyfriend the other night and I just couldn’t believe this perfect human is someone I get to spend my forever with. H and I (both now 24) were in a relationship for four years and broke up at the beginning of this year. • 2 yr. Ongoing support for break ups. I never liked his voixe, thz way he laughs, his eyes, mouth, nose, rase, feet, body. All names changed. My ex cheated on me on valentines day. I have dreams about him and I find myself comparing things my bf does/ doesnt do to what he would 4: Start focusing on you. Someday you will only feel indifference to this. Take it from me. I asked him what that was about and he said “nothing”, to which I replied, “It’s obviously something because you were so My ex boyfriend did the following during the course of our relationship (I can write a book on the whole experience but just highlighting the key disasters from that relationship): He portrayed himself as the most ideal, highly principled and focused guy, not only I but my entire batch in college was fooled by his portrayal and people had named Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! I miss my ex desperately even though I’m in a perfect relationship now. Once in a while we would talk on social media and reminisce about the things we used to do. Say their name and watch his/her face flash before your mind's eye. He is the kindest, most loving person I Try to cultivate deep self reflection and awareness and then try to decipher if it's just because it's exciting or actual feelings. My boyfriend is getting jealous of my past, i am his first. Eight years ago our relationship ended and I still have feelings for him. I’ll be honest with you. i love him very much, he’s my best friend. Now i feel like it was a grave mistake and i would do anything to save our relationship. He stood outside my house yelling at us. At that point, you're eating the same thing a few meals a week, you're watching the ADMIN MOD. It’s been a year and a half and I still love her. Note the ex, we tried to make it work but she'd get miserable being away from people and I'd get miserable being around people. But that’s normal, we were together for a year and a half and he was my first partner where I could sleep with him at night and not sneak around like teenagers. People keep it until the next relationship, then throw that stuff away out of respect for their new partner. I started to notice weird things he would say that would make me feel off but I would brush it away and just think “maybe he didn’t mean it like that” but after talking with some friends and a relationship coach they believe that he is manipulative and stinakinsa. The only way getting back with your ex can be successful is if you both work on your flaws and you're both committed to make the relationship work again and don't fall back into complacency. I’m still in love with my ex…. My ex's parents took me in like their own child, and I'm sure they would be excited to meet my boyfriend, their "foundling. We were dating when I was only 12-14 years old and he was almost 30 I know now that that's illegal and he was a pedophile who definitely just used me to have sex with. Until then, these feelings will continue, much like endorphins, cursing through your system and your life. it’s like we were dating again. My sister is a POS and truly the worst person I ever met, the worst thing she did was blame me for my sa of one of My ex boyfriend left me 2 months after my Dad died because he just could not understand my grief. MrMcJenkins. so i’ve [22F] been with my current boyfriend [22M] for over a year now. This is primarily (in my view) because a relationship joins both your lives, so suddenly many mundane bits of your life are shared. I have had much more experience than he has. If they moved on right after the breakup, regardless of who dumped whom, regardless of whether its been a few weeks or a few days, it hurts— at least a little. So, after we break up about two weeks Yes, I still think about sex with my ex A LOT. If not, just let me know and I will delete! My boyfriend (29M) and I (25F) have been together for over a year now, living together for about 4 months. But we were both immature, young, and childish then. Throw away account for all the reasons. He's engaged now and is about to get married soon. Guys, it completely pains me to write this. Today, my boyfriend admitted that he is still in love with his ex. I was in Germany by myself and her and her best friend broke into my hostel in the middle of the night. Once you've been in a relationship, even after a breakup, it's normal to think of your ex, how she's doing, what she's up to, etc. He was physically abusive, which I only combatted with emotional abuse to regain any kind of control in my life that I could. We grew up together and have the exact same group of For now they have asked you to leave so do just that - fucking ghost them. Allow yourself to feel it now, just don't focus on it, focus on you. It’s so hard to be insecure! There are always going to be women who are prettier, smarter, kinder, with better bodies and more money. You seem to be giving and he is receiving but he's not returning the favor and you deserve more. We were still in love, but felt like we needed space to grow and get our careers going without the distractions, complications and obligations of a serious relationship. Me [19] and my boyfriend [19] have been dating for over a year now. the thing is we saw each other yesterday even tho we agreed to do no contact and everything was just like how it was before. If what he is doing makes you uncomfortable, he will need to decide whether keeping that relationship with his ex is worth making you uncomfortable. He decided I wasn't the one and he encouraged me to move on. I knew them both independently and was the one who introduced them to each other. Several of my ex’s though I wouldn’t want to say a word to. That's literally the only way it's successful. Help. Relationships. She went out there and they argued in my front yard. ago. We have been in a relationship for a year now. My ex broke up with me and to be honest, I still love her to bits and love everything about her but I don’t love how petty shot got after breakup when she was the one who broke up with me. Your mind will naturally show you the happiest times. The way my ex-boyfriend is with his new girlfriend has destroyed my mental health. It's nearly two years since I've met him and it's been the case ever since. There are 2 ways this could go: We reconcile and take it slow. I was talking/seeing my boyfriend Andy while he was dating his now ex girlfriend May. In the beginning of our relationship she was constantly trying to get his attention, even asked him twice to have sex with her while she knew he was with me. It’s been a year and one month and the last dream I had of her had to be of January. We didn’t stop loving each other though. He tried to have sex with me and called me a little bitch for not agreeing to do so. But most of the time, they're your ex for a reason. My ex and I were together 4 years, and broke up 1 year ago. You cheated, not 90%, but all the way cheated. To give some back story, two of my close friends dated for around seven years. I am the type of person who never stops loving somebody. I have fucked up by having my ex over at my house without telling my boyfriend. Don't try to erase those from your memory. when I got back though. i’m trying to make sense of how i’m feeling and need some advice. 4 days ago · My ex used to force me to have sex with him and told me the only way he could show his love for me was through sex. So, my ex and I dated for like almost 2 months and I fell in love, and I thought she did too. Background: My ex-boyfriend (26M) is my first love. I (23F) and My boyfriend (25M) have been dating for about 5 months now. I rested my head on his shoulder and got a glance at his phone. This post is full of deja vu for me. I’ve also noticed thinking about the sex I’ve had with other partners. I have a few thoughts, I don’t like not being able to talk about MY past and she was a huge part of that. Let me preface this by saying that I do not want to get back together with my ex- this is a cry for help for me to get over him FOR GOOD after delaying doing so for nearly three years. The more you do that, the more you will fixate on them and keep them going in your head. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). We talk a little bit here and there. It wasn’t a good relationship and we cheated on each other multiple times. When I was in college in the 90s, I met “Jake” (then M23) through mutual friends. I had the same situation with an extrovert ex-girlfriend. ADMIN MOD. She is/was trailing him on like a I’d say that meeting the ex and making sure their relationship is purely platonic is a plus. I pushed my last boyfriend away which caused him to, not Not sure if my(f23) bf(M26) is a emotionally abusive. He had already graduated and was planning to move to the opposite side of the Falling in love with my friend's ex-boyfriend. I Need Advice. My ex stabbed him with an ice pick. i love my boyfriend but my ex is my soulmate. From what I was told by him, this particular ex was someone he truly loved (s) but she treated him Peer support for anyone struggling with a depressive disorder. She recently moved back to her hometown, which is where my ex-boyfriend and I reside. My wife will talk about moments with her ex, I don’t He realized he’s still in love with his ex girlfriend/his first love (who never treated him right and in his words “does not actually care about me”). Closure isn't something you get from an ex: you find it by mentally moving on. Should i try to reach out to him. lucky-Chipmunk-119. . I am marrying my sisters ex fiancé. I 25f fell in love with my sisters 29f ex fiancé 30m. Now, I don’t know where I 23 Male here. My boyfriend is wonderful. Around the start of April, I (18F) ended things with my boyfriend (19M) of 11 months because I was convinced I wasn’t happy and that I had moved on. Even when the relationship goes to shit. I hooked up with him after my last boyfriend (22m) and I broke up a year ago. She gives a statement about what she hears and as they are putting Amy in the back of the squad car she yells out to Amy to not worry because she’s sure Max’s sister will come over to help clean the house. Maybe have the final 'closure' talk, wish them well, then cya-fucking-later. we broke 3 months ago due to some issues with oversharing and school stresses. Don’t let your insecurities be what push him away…. I simply think he's ugly. Anyway, my point is that sometimes your first love is the hardest to get over and that not all love is going to be the same. You need to work on getting over a man who thinks that you loving him is a joke. He was my best friend, he was my everything back then :( I couldn't tell anyone about this because I have a bf and I dont think it's appropriate to even feel this way. I’ve (f25) been with my current boyfriend (m26) for three months now and everything is going perfectly, he treats me better than any man ever has. Maybe you'll make some friends in the process. 2. I had to kick the ex in the balls so that he'd drop the switch blade he was using to cut himself. It's also part of the grieving process and it will eventually go away if you keep healing. I missed him so much even after all these years. Exactly three years ago, in the middle of the covid-19 pandemic, my now boyfriend (27 male), let's call him Alan, asked me (25 female) out. I love him and hope to I have only had 2 boyfriends in my life: my 4-year ex-boyfriend and my 4-year current boyfriend. He said he's happier when he's with me and I feel the same way too. I can’t talk to anyone about it over fear my boyfriend might find out I feel this way, but keeping it bottled is eating me up. A few months ago we began discussing our exes, and one of his exes in particular. The girl who he cheated on me with had a boyfriend who came down to have a word with my ex shortly after my conversation with him. I know that trauma can cause severe anxiety and desire to separate yourself and close off - I just don’t want him to end up in a very bad spot in the future. It seemed to him like a lot of time had passed and I wasn't getting any better. By then we had been chatting occasionally on Instagram for more than a month: he would answer me stories about books that I read or about my dogs, but that's it. You need to be completely transparent wuth your husband so there's no opportunity for him to get the wrong end of the stick. Grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and elevate so far above them that they can't see you past the clouds. I am health-wise and mentally at my worst currently. I tried to avoid him because i liked him away too much but i didn’t want to cheat on my boyfriend. He also didn't want to meet my ex beforehand, claiming it would be "weird. MembersOnline. But not like I love my bf, I love him as a brother, I wouldn’t want a relationship with him. I know he was not the right one so my ex boyfriend and i were each other’s first everything. I would have done almost anything to get my ex back and none of it worked. The truth was, our relationship was over. He is my 4th proper boyfriend. Sometimes when I’m sad I feel like he’s the only one I want to comfort me. The problem is the fact i have had sex with 3 other guys and kissed many I still haven't told my boyfriend about this I'm still speaking to my ex Yeah, OP, you need to do some unselfish reflection here and consider your actions. Sometimes, when I'm with my current boyfriend, I catch glimpses of my ex in him and wish that it was my ex I I think it's normal to hate someone who hurts you. They’re both important to me in different ways. I think when you’re super close to someone you can not see them for 10 years and still feel there is some connection oddly. It was past 11pm when he decided to show up to my house unexpectedly. He quickly turned the phone over soon after I rested my head on his shoulder. My ex has a new boyfriend. I broke up with him but I love him and I miss him and he feels the same towards me. It happened on a late November night it has already been four months since I ended my relationship with the toxic narcissist ex boyfriend. I (20F) have been with my boyfriend (20M) for almost three years now. He agreed. He told me he loves me, and I said it back to him because I believed it at the time, but I realized I have unresolved feelings for my ex ADMIN MOD. This brings me back to my predicament. She never wanted kids and I was unsure, so she ended things because she didn't want to get into a relationship and have that be an issue down the road. Regular relationships don't involve breaking up and getting back together cyclically. We’ve been together for almost a year now and we’ve definitely had our ups and downs, but throughout all of it, I’ve felt loved, respected, and cared for. I ruined my ex-boyfriend’s life 20+ years ago and I just made sure it stayed ruined. All the things you describe about your boyfriend are characteristics that I share with him as do many people. Despite being in a loving and healthy relationship with my new boyfriend, who treats me incredibly well, I can't shake off thoughts of my ex. There's a whole spectrum of how people deal with love letters from the past, and it's all up to the person. za tq rv bb kc vj hh nx ou hw